This is my Genesis.............

A new day....a new start

2010-05-31T09:07:00.000-07:00

I love to write! For years I discovered a love for journaling life - I loved being able to go back years later and re-reading the journey that life took me on, the happy moments and the struggles that made me stronger. After moving to Oregon I traded paper to email, and started sending out a daily devotional to about 60 women that God brought into my life. Those daily interactions became my journal, yet unlike my written journals I could go back to - my life was exposed to others. All that I was feeling was open for others to experience with me. It was challenging and encouraging. After years of this form of documenting my life - God allowed me to move on. But what next - where was I supposed to bare my soul (sort of). My facebook status updating was always fun, especially reading others - but didn't lend itself for much depth. And yet, I would always think of the blog I started years ago, which somehow got lost in the shuffle of life (and constant forgetting of my password). So today i'm back - and ready to start this new journey of journaling. I want to see what God has in store for me, what he desires me to share with with world (literally). Today is a new day. So to catch you up from my last blog:

I left CA after the new year

I moved to Oregon:

Fell in love

Made new friends

Connected with old friends

Got hitched

And now my new life as a wife, director, home owner begins!!! Its been an amazing journey thus far, and I cannot wait to see what comes next!

Merry Christmas....

2008-09-05T13:31:00.000-07:00

Merry Christmas
(In September)

You must think I’ve lost my mind, but I wanted you to start thinking about Christmas a little bit earlier this year.
For the past 3yrs I have been involved with an amazing project called Operation Christmas Child, which sends gifts to children suffering form the effect of poverty, war and other unimaginable situations; things that no child should ever have to encounter. What makes this program so special is that a child’s life is forever changed by a simple shoebox. Many have never received a single gift in their young lives, and yet through a shoebox filled with treasures they realize they are loved and important.
In working with this project I have heard countless stories of children whose lives were forever changed by OCC. Last year I heard a testimony of a girl (who is now an adult and married with her own kids) who received a shoebox and its contents were EXACTLY the things she desperately needed. You can Lejla’s testimony on OCC’s website right now (www.samaritanspurse.org). Believe me, her story is common, which only confirms within me the fact that these boxes are destine to reach specific children – God has them already pick out.
My challenge to you is simple – fill a shoebox and change a child’s life. Now is the best time to pick up school supplies, which is by far the best thing to pack. Many families are too poor to buy supplies, and strangely enough its most poor countries where education is not free. So by packing school supplies, you are blessing the entire family.
The holiday months are usually a crazy time for all of us, so I figure let’s start filling boxes now – that way when December rolls around, you’ve already finished your box (or boxes ☺).
My first year, I set out to fill 5 boxes (representing one for each family member) and last year I got so addicted I filled close to 20. This year it is my personal goal to fill 30 boxes (as I’m turning the big 3-0 this year). Granted I started shopping in January, but its so easy not to ☺
Once you decide if you want to make a box for a boy or girl and their age group, you’ll be addicted too! For ideas on what to pack, take a look at the attached brochure. (I always stop by the dollar bins at Target and pick a few things up, not to mention the Dollar Tree is AMAZING!!!).

Let’s bless some kids this holiday season – and be reminded of the true meaning!

Being light ain't that easy

2008-08-07T12:14:00.000-07:00

When I first started at the "bowling lounge" I was excited to be a light in a dark
world - God was so faithful to provide chances to share my faith with
my co-workers. I've noticed that in the last few months I have become
more "comfortable" in my surroundings and many times have fallen into
the trap of "inter office gossip" - it happens. I've also become
more discontent with being there - little things start bugging me, and
my attitude towards it has been anything but light. It is so easy to
fall into the trap of dimming our lights - because lets be honest,
being a light in the midst of darkness it tough - its a daily
challenge, and sometimes its a lot of work. I realize on a daily
basis that God has put me there for a reason. No one in their right
mind would want to be almost 30 and handing out bowling shoes. This
is my mission field, and I have to remind myself of that. Would I
rather be back working at OCC, of course - its comfortable and
rewarding. But many times the mission field isn't so easy - the
rewards aren't immediate and our faith is challenged on a daily basis
- and I realized I have to remind myself of this fact or else I will
be bogged down with the negative things. So hopefully today I can
walk in with a positive attitude and allow the Lord to be my strength
when I want to strangle the servers or my bosses (heehee - admit it,
we've all had those feelings!)

Have a great rest of your day!!!
xoxox
B

Don't be afraid of the darkness in the earth today. REMEMBER THIS:
Light shines best in darkness.
Thursday 8/7/2008

Let your light so shine before men that they may see your moral
excellence and your praiseworthy, noble, and good deeds and recognize
and honor and praise and glorify your Father Who is in heaven.

IT IS THE NATURE of light to shine, and the darker the night the
brighter the light. There is darkness in the world, and moral darkness
is the blackest of all. Perhaps where you live today has become a very
dark place, a fearful place. Perhaps the light has been so obscured
you are tempted to think there is no light at all, only darkness.

The purpose of God is that you shine and illuminate the world in
which you live. There is no light and no life but that of Jesus Christ
( John 1:4).What He is in Himself is what He gives to you. Never be
content until your life is fully illumined by Christ. By the beauty of
holiness reflected in your life the darkness will be driven back. If
you live your Christianity, the light in your life will flood the
darkness with the true glory of God.

Why I love Portland

2008-08-06T22:46:00.001-07:00

I've decided to take a moment and reflect on the many reasons why I have completely fallen in love with Portland. I have now been a resident of Oregon for 8 months (wow!!!). For 8 whole months, I have tried to take in and adjust to all the differences from my life in CA to life as a Oregonian. Of course having someone pump gas for me, three dollar movie theatres that searve beer and tator tots and NO SALES TAX have made the transition an easy one- there are some specific things that have made leaving the constant sunshine of Cali not as difficult... By far, one of the biggest is the true beauty which surrounds me on a daily basis.

I'm blessed to have a job where I can take a precious lil pumpkin on walks (when weather permits) through a neighborhood that is completely in bloom.

And of course there is my aunt and uncles own back yard that is overflowing with beautiful flowers....

There is such a appreciation for the summer months - braving the cold (granted 65 degrees is freezing to me) so for the first time in my life, i've been able to experience what's known as "seasons" to anyone outside of California. Moving up here in January, I came right at the chilly time, which resulted in my first experiences with snow (and golf ball sized hail!!!)

I must say, I have really enjoyed experiencing the transformation that Portland makes each and every month - and am thankful and blessed to call this home!

Did my journal get lost on the way to Oregon?

2008-07-02T23:24:00.000-07:00

I used to be great at writing in my journal. No matter what was going on in my life - at the end of the day I would write down every little detail. I think I got this from my mom, who every single night will write down the happenings of her day - down to the time she woke up and the food she ate (Not only would she write all of this - but her printing was so small she could fit two lines in one). Everyday she would write........everyday I would write.

.....Then I moved to Portland......

..... and I stopped writing.......

I moved in January and the few times I have tried to write down this life changing experience, I can't do it. I pack up my car and drive to another state by myself with no job or true security, and I can't write?

One reason for this drought (I think perhaps) is my daily devotionals that I send out each and every morning. For about 60 lovely ladies, they get stuck hearing my journal....via e-mail. They get to hear about my stresses with work, or my fear of the unknown. They have become my pen and paper - they are my notebook - which at times is a little scary, because when I write in my notebook, i'm the only one to read it. Now I have dozens of women in different states on this journey with me, which has been a huge accountability and yet frightening all at the same time.

I keep a couple of my friends blogs on my toolbar - so anytime I look at a website, there they are. These are amazing friends who are living incredible lives led by God - and I love to look at what is going on in their world. They are an encouragement in my walk of faith - more than they probably know, which challenges me to put myself out there - hopefully that God would use my crazy life to encourage others. Though my life is less than exciting at times, as a single Christian girl seeking God's will, life takes twists and turns that very rarely I can prepare myself for, and sometimes it comforts me to know that others have been there before. I hope that by sharing my life with others, they can feel the comfort that I have felt - to know that it will all be alright, and we are not alone.

Christians - By Maya Angelou

2007-03-20T06:56:00.000-07:00

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner

Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Ready for another book to read????

2007-03-07T21:02:00.000-08:00

So....I finished this book in probably 3 days total: couldn't put it down. It caught my attention on the book shelf right away, especially its correlation between suburbia (where I now work in the heart of) and comfortable Christianity. The author writes with a terrific blend of humor and intellect, perfect for my taste! I seriously found myself laughing out loud at many of his comments. He doesn't sugar coat suburban life and what that looks like in regards to our faith. This is a must read for anyone looking at taking their faith out of its pretty little package. He also has a blog : http://bucknakedfaith.blogspot.com/

I could spend all night quoting this book, but one thing really struck me as I decided to re-read and highlight it. Well i've only gotten through a few pages of mark ups, but I wanted to share this. These are his words...not mine! He is speaking about the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

"Most people thing the fruit was of the apple variety. But the handwritten note I scribbled in the margin of my Bible a long time ago says 'The fruit was DoToBe.' We have been partaking of this fruit ever since.

* You have to please others to be loved

* You have to dress like this to be accepted

* You have to talk like this to be cool

* You have to sleep with me to be cherished

* You have to act like this to have status

* You have to have good evaluations to have a voice in the company

* You have to do this to be that....

"But God invited us to eat from the Tree of Life, the BeToDo tree. God wants us to be his, because then we will naturally find ourselves doing what is right, what is good, what is honorable.

* Just be loved by God, and you will find yourself loving others

* Just be God's child, and you'll find you no longer strive for acceptance but walk in it

* Just be your God-given talents, and you will experience so much less struggle and self-criticism

* Just be, and you will begin to do all you were created for."

......By golly I think he's on to something!

My challenge for you this evening is just to remember how much our Lord loves us and desires His best for our lives.

"Hey You...You Wanna Fight?"

2007-02-28T07:24:00.000-08:00

I know in my life, I feel the battle raging on a daily basis and its "interesting" that not only in my devotions but at church lately they have been talking about that very subject. After my mission trip season last year, and just falling face down when my world seemed to be stripped away, and I was seeking after the Lord with everything left - the battle heated up. The enemy wasn't happy that I was finally giving over that last 1% that I had been holding on to. I know many of my Christian sisters are facing battles of their own. They may not look the same - but boy is the enemy waging war on their lives! This made me immediately think of my favorite Eric Carle book(my preschool mentality coming through) - The Grouchy Ladybug....who is always picking fights with those bigger than him, just like the enemy. We're just doing our own thing, and here comes the Grouchy Ladybug aka The Enemy wanting to pick a fight. Too bad our God is bigger!!! Like in the book, the GL realizes he's met his match and flys away.

Let's commit today to putting on our armor of God and standing firm in the Lord. Let the Grouchy Ladybug fly away when he realizes he's messing with someone bigger than him!
xoxoxo
B

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The Battle Belongs to the Lord Wednesday 2/28/2007

...Be not afraid or dismayed at this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God's. —2 Chronicles 20:15

Are you struggling with issues in your life, and frustrated because you never get a breakthrough no matter what you do? You will never win if you are fighting your own battles. God never loses a battle. He has a definite battle plan—and when we follow it, we always win. Perhaps you are in a circumstance right now and you need to hear God say, "The battle is not yours, but Mine!" Worship is a battle position! As we worship God for Who He is and for His attributes, those attributes are released in our lives. Worship God for His ability and might, and you will see them released on your behalf. Try bowing down a few times a day and giving thanks. Just be sure your heart is in what you are doing. Working formulas or entering into "dead works" never produces anything of value. I am sure your heart frequently fills up with love and worship for God. If you are not already doing so, take an extra step and add some outward action to your heart attitude. Follow God's battle plan. It is enjoyable, unique, and effective. Praise and worship confuse the enemy. Take your position, and you will see the enemy's defeat. Do This: Bow before God and thank Him for His goodness and mercy. Worship Him for Who He is, not just for what you need from Him.

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The devil cannot get a STRONGHOLD unless you give him a foothold.

For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds, [inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasoning’s and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One). THE CHRISTIAN LIFE is warfare and much of the battle takes place inside your life. If you do not allow the enemy a foothold in your life he cannot establish a stronghold. You have a supernatural arsenal at your disposal that is mighty through God because God is in you. It begins by establishing a genuine prayer life where you commune with your Father in heaven. This is the power engine of the battle. It is strengthened by daily feedings on the Word of God, the sword of the Spirit. Truth and holiness at work in your life overthrow and destroy the enemy's work. Allow the Gospel to come into your daily life with the power of the Holy Spirit and you will be armed for the fight and victorious in the battle.

Wanna fun book to read?

2007-02-20T07:17:00.000-08:00

Back to work! Or for those who worked yesterday, Day #2! I spent most of the day just reading...it was wonderful. My goal was not to waste the day in front of the TV but just to relax and spend some time in the word as well as in a few books. I must say I did pretty well - a few TV moments, but they were very rare and short lived. I finished an entire book! Actually I read it before but I wanted a light read....it's called "If i'm waiting on God then what am I doing in a Christian chat room." No joke - that is the title. It's written by this awesome Christian comic who actual grew up in the same area as I did - so its funny when she mentions places i've been. It's more like her journal - filled with her dating mishaps and funny stories. A great rainy day read. www.kerripom.com

I kept reading and was like, MAN did she have a lot of relationships...but if i'm looking at my life, though there hasn't been a lot of substance, there have been quite a few "Time Fillers" as I love to refer to them...or my newest term "One Hit Wonders." But what struck me was just her desire to stop the vicious cycle and turn to the Lord, which i'm always trying to improve. Praise God that He is doing a work in me and this area of my life is under His control....FINALLY!!! It is a struggle most single women face - the desire to be loved and in a relationship, but also the desire not to settle for less than what the Lord wants for us. The problem with the two is that the second one takes longer to find....you actually have to wait awhile, which the first is always there. You can't help it - we're girls!! We're surrounded by love songs, sappy movies and fairy tales. I think that's one of the biggest crosses' we carry is our desires for True Love. Man this cross is HEAVY! Luckily the Lord only gives us as much as He thinks we can carry.

Loved..........

2007-02-19T08:30:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday! I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. Here in Cali, we were blessed to have some wonderful weather....well up until last night, so don't be too jealous!

I also hope everyone had a love-filled Valentine's Day. Whether you are married or single, divorced or widowed....everyone deserves to feel loved. I know for the years i've been single, the day sometimes makes me want to wear black and stay home and eat a tub of ice cream. It has been in these last few years as I grew closer to the Lord that the day has become so much more than mourning my relationship status. Yes, the day is way over hyped and over commercialized, and yes you should be able to tell someone you love them every day of the year....but the premise of the day is pure - to show love. As a single - it's easy to pull a "Woe Is Me" because I don't have a boyfriend to give me overpriced flowers and wait 2hrs to have dinner at a nice restaurant. But that isn't the only way to know you are loved.

I've learned a lot about how I feel loved in how I show love. I love gift giving!!!! That is by far my love language - that and Acts of Service a close second. If you don't know what Love Languages are...read the book, especially the 5 Love Languages of God. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/books_God.html

The basics of the book are that there are 5 ways in which we experience/show love. When I first heard about it at church I thought it was cheesy, but while I was in Mississippi I read the "God" version and really related to it. I do experience love more through giving/serving than any other form (ex: words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time).

So - i've decided that my goal of Valentine's Day is to make sure those around me know they are loved! I don't think we hear or feel it enough by those close to us, or let me re-phrase that, I don't think I show it enough. Most importantly, I don't think I show the love of God enough either.

I challenge all of you to find out what your love language is, and start using it! Once I realized what mine were, I was able to better understand how I feel God's love, and that it's ok if I don't feel it the same way as the person next to me. God created us all differently, able to experience His love differently to. Yet, we all have the knowledge that His love will always be there, not just on February 14th.

Starting the morning off right.........

2007-02-07T06:42:00.000-08:00

You're getting a double dose today!! The first is the actual devotional and the second is what's called "Life Lines".....and boy did that speak to me. I have been been dealing with the second one a lot recently when it comes to my "singleness".....to the choir I have preached patience, waiting on the Lord with Joy and hope, using my time wisely. Then the other night I full on had a girly pity party - out of no where! Though i'm proud to say these moments really are few and far between lately, it honestly caught me off guard. Immediately I thought of all i've said to those whoever asked - that i'm ok in it. At church on Sunday I was relieved to hear the pastor say - be candid with God, he knows your heart anyway - don't try and sugar coat what you feel. Boy was I candid with God that night. We all have our "Woe Is Me" moments, and its in that time to turn to the Lord and pour out your heart.

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The Wonderful Holy Spirit
Wednesday 2/7/2007
And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby), that He may remain with you forever. —John 14:16 We serve a Triune God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—one God, three persons. The Holy Spirit is the One Who makes us holy. The Father willed it, the Son paid for it, and the Holy Spirit does it. We become the sanctuary of God because of the presence of the Holy One in us. The Holy Spirit is the agent in the process of sanctification that accomplishes what needs to be wrought in us. It is vital that we understand the ministry of the Holy Spirit so we can appreciate it and cooperate with it. It is the Holy Spirit Who prompts us to pray and Who teaches us how to pray. He strengthens us in our time of need. He alone can minister to our inner man where comfort and refreshing are so often needed as we live out our lives here on the earth. The Holy Spirit must be allowed to be in charge. We cannot change the things in our life that need to be changed, but the Holy Spirit can. Trust the Holy Spirit. Begin today to benefit from His ministry. Let Him show you new ways to approach old problems. Say This: "The Holy Spirit lives in me. He is my Comforter, my Counselor, my Helper, my Intercessor, my Advocate, my Strengthener, and my Standby!"

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Wednesday 2/7/2007
Look well to yourself [to your own personality] and to [your] teaching; persevere in these things [hold to them], for by so doing you will save both yourself and those who hear you. PERHAPS YOU HAVE heard the story of the man who preached so well and lived so badly that when he was in the pulpit everyone said he should never come out again and when he was out of it they all agreed he should never enter it again. Unfortunately, this story is occasionally too close to the truth. It is dreadful to be an inconsistent Christian. How you live your life speaks louder than your words, and the sinful actions of your life not only negate your words but can be a terrible offense to the Gospel. Do you trust people who say one thing but live another way? Your words are important but who you are and how you live is far more compelling. Our Lord puts more emphasis on holy character than words. True believers live like believers whether or not anyone is watching. Rest assured that our Lord is always watching.

Not done yet.....

2007-02-03T09:27:00.000-08:00

I gave away the comforts of home....

And went to a place unknown....

To see brokeness....

To know true compassion....

There is another section on Joyce Meyer's site called Life Lines.... and today's goes along with what I just wrote! God is Good!!!

For you to move on to a higher level with God, YOU MUST PASS the test at the level you are.

Saturday 2/3/2007

Yes, furthermore, I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish (refuse, dregs), in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One). PHILIPPIANS 3:8

THE APOSTLE PAUL'S greatest joy was to know Jesus Christ as God's gift, but he was not content with this. Paul passionately desired to win or gain Christ—to know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings. To do that he surrendered himself completely to God's service and welcomed whatever it might cost him personally. The quality of your commitment to Christ is reflected in the cost you are willing to bear. May there be no reservation in your commitment. Give yourself wholly to Him, and the pearl of great price you receive will far exceed the costs!

Give it away............

2007-02-03T08:56:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've been starting my day by reading a devotion by Joyce Meyer (http://www.joycemeyer.org/). I love how the Lord has been using them to speak to me - it's as if I can hear his voice, whispering in my ear each morning. What an amazing way to star the day off.

This is today's devotion that I wanted to share with you:

God Loves You!

Saturday 2/3/2007

For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life. —John 3:16

John 3:16 tells us that God so loved the world that He gave His only Son as a sacrifice for it. God loves you! You are special to Him. God doesn't love you because you are a good person or do everything right. He loves you because He is love. Love is not something God does; it is something He is. It is His nature. God's love is pure and ever flowing. It cannot be earned or deserved. It must be received by faith. In Ephesians 3:19 Paul prays that we may come to really know this love. When we do, we are strengthened in our inner man. When we are strengthened inwardly, outward difficulties cannot defeat us. Unless you have received it yourself, you cannot give love away. Let God love you. Receive His love for you. Bathe in it. Meditate on it. Let it strengthen you. Then give it away.

Say This: "God loves me. I am special to Him. I receive His everlasting love today and am strengthened in my inner man."

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I just started a new job this week which has taken my out of my comfort zone once again. Oh, how the Lord loves to do that in my life....just when I feel all cozy....POOF, time to shake things up! I've come to love this time when it hits, because I know He is going to use me in a way that will cause me to grow. When life is too easy for me I become stale in my walk with the Lord - and He knows that, thus the last two years of my life have been the most vibrant time I have ever experienced in my 12+ years of walking with the Lord.

The job environment itself is nothing new to me; I'm a "seasoned veteran" in the world of preschool - but it is how the Lord brought me here, and why that is different this time. I don't have my own classroom, and for the first time in 4 yrs I am not the boss.....but rather starting from the bottom. I feel as if the Lord brought me there not so much to "teach" but to minister to the staff - to wash their feet. Within the last week I have seen and heard much brokenness; met widows, single moms. I have learned to take the time and listen, to stop and hear what the Lord wants me too. I feel like I am there to encourage, support, pray for these hard working girls, many face difficult lives. What excites me is that I finally feel like I am at a place to do that, and even more exciting is that the Lord finds me worthy enough to do so. Even when I was "in charge" I was in no position to be an example or leader, yes I loved my staff....but I needed a lot of work! Thus God took me out of that situation and put me in a year long boot camp - Compassion 101! He used that time to teach me about true compassion, being a true servant, giving when you have nothing to give. It is like today's devotion said - unless you receive His love, you won't be able to give it away. Last year allowed me to truly bathe in it, meditate in it. It was what strengthened me. And now I'm in a place to give it away....

Bottom line is that God has given us such a precious gift that sometimes we hold on to it so tightly because it is so dear to us - yet all He wants for us to do is give it away...... to be His hands and feet, salt and light. That is my prayer for my new job and for life in general - to give His love away on a daily basis.

Psalm 16:5-11

2007-01-24T10:45:00.000-08:00

Lord...

you have assigned me

my portion and my cup;

You have made my lot secure.

The boundary lines have fallen

for surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord,

who counsels me;

even at night my heart instructs me.

I have set the Lord always before me.

Because he is at my right hand.

I will not be shaken.

Therefore...

my heart is glad

and my tongue rejoices;

my body also will rest secure,

because you will not abandon me to the grave,

nor will you let your Holy One see decay.

You have made known to me

the path of life;

You will fill me with joy in your presence,

with eternal pleasures

at your right hand.

I'm ready to catch His blessings.....

2007-01-22T09:35:00.000-08:00

I am blessed to be employed once again - no more sleeping in and lounging around (right - like that has ever been the case).

Within this last year, God has made it very clear that I am not to be comfortable.....but that true growth comes from being challenged. When I took my seasonal job at Operation Christmas Child it was a challenge - a challenge that I had to dress like an adult for work when I was so used to jeans and flip flops, to get paid WAY less than my previous job, to become very office savvy and challenged to submit - because for the first time in well over 4 yrs I was not in charge....and I loved every minute of it - and because I submitted to God's will for me, He used that season to show me true joy in serving Him.

Now I am in another place of total submission. I will be going back to my preschool roots. The idea of this job has been lingering for the past year. When I was first unemployeed and my staff had left the school - all 3 of them went here to work - and I couldn't have been happier. They were finally taken care of - paid what they deserved, got full benefits. I was overjoyed for them - yet when I thought of joining them, God said no. I see what a blessing that decision became, because I was able to experience a great adventure all of last year. I was also able to allow "my girls" the chance to break away from me as their "leader" and submit to their new administration. Fast forward to present day - I return from South Africa once again unemployeed and once again with the knowledge of this school and though what they offer is wonderful, it was a personal struggle to submit.

I know I am called to serve God's Children - it is a clear as day for me, but could that mean ALL God's children? I thought only the poor and broken. Here it is - I hate Orange County!!! I have come to understand that I have issues with my surrounding - though I am not wealthy in OC standards, after visiting some of the broken places I have, I know that I truly am - It just looks different than a fancy house and name brand purse. So the thought of serving "those" type of people seriously was a hard pill to swallow. I struggled with filling out the application....why God can't you just send me back to South Africa, why do you want me here? It is in those moments that I realized that God wanted to do a great work in me. He has taught me so much about compassion this past year - for those who lost it all, yet I had no compassion for those that seem to have everything. It was then I finally got it. How was I to love as Jesus did, yet I couldn't love my neighbors - literally? Was I really able to bloom where I've been planted??

So, here I am........ready to be stretched! I'm not in charge, I don't have my own classroom - and it's ok!!! God wants me here for reason, and slowly He's showing me that. Please pray for me that I keep that frame of mind when I don't agree with things, which certainly I won't. Pray that I put "me" aside and allow the Lord to show me, to use me - to be salt and light. Pray that in this time I am also continuing to serve my kids in South Africa, just because I am not there physically doesn't mean my work is done - far from. I have recently been able to experience the joy of those who support those who go. For so long I had been on the "going" end of things and last week I met a girl who is in that spot - and for once I was able to be on the giving end - and it was INCREDIBLE!!! Jealous at first - naturally, but I know God called me back here for a reason. I see that He has me at home that I may support those who are called to go.

Thank you -as always, for you love, support and prayers. I cannot express just how much it means to me to know I am surrounded by such love!!!

xoxoxo
B

It's not too late.....................

2007-01-18T13:02:00.000-08:00

Join my Mocha Club team!

So, one day I was downloading some new music and I came across Matt Wertz. I went to his website to find out about him and there was a graphic of Africa and thus I was introduced to the Mocha Club. Here's a cool incentive he's offering - if you join our team now, you'll also get a FREE download of his entire new album, Everything In Between. Cool, huh? Tell your friends!

Free music and a chance to help children in Africa for the cost of 2 mochas.........how much easier could it be??? Remember that YOU are the voice Africa, and each invite you send puts something in front of friends that is most often forgotten...or ignored.

"If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality." -Bishop Desmond TuTu

Mocha Club

2007-01-09T13:15:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share something really cool I'm doing to help Africa and I wanted you to check it out too. I'm a part of this website called Mocha Club, where you can give up the cost of 2 mochas a month, or $7, to help orphans, refugees, and those affected by HIV/AIDS in Africa. Did you know that 6300 people die every day from AIDS? Here is what blew my mind - in All of Africa, $7 gives clean water to 7 Africans for a year. In Kibera Kenya, $7 gives 3 meals in a day for 9 orphans. In Bulawayo Zimbabwe, $7 would put two kids in school for a term. It's those kind of things that made me realize this is something I can do.
So I've felt convicted to move from the 'talking' to 'doing' category. You can join my online team (http://mochaclub.org/join/3021) and we can keep inviting friends so the team continues to grow at $7 per person. I'm doing it. They also update us online all the time as to exactly where that money is going.
Let me know what you think! Please pass along the website to anyone you might think would be interested in helping!!!

xoxoxox

Christmas in South Africa

2007-01-08T20:29:00.000-08:00

Christmas In South Africa

I love to journal..........to get down on paper all the thoughts floating around in my head, to be able to look back later and remember just where I was at the exact moment in time; to see how far I've come, how much I learned. Within the past year I have been able to send out a cliff note of my crazy life to the masses, but have yet to really explore in depth where my life has taken me. I think one reason is the depth to my recent experiences. It is emotional overload to take an experience like Katrina Relief and put to words how that impacted my life. The same is said for my recent adventures in South Africa. How can one possibly relay the life transformation brought on by flying halfway around the world and encountering little lives that have seen more devastation and heartbreak than I could ever fathom, yet still find the courage to laugh, play..........just be kids!!!

I haven't been able to transfer my thoughts into a well formed sentence for my first trip - yet I'm going to try and do so for this past adventure. I want to do this before the stories fade into the next - before it becomes a distant memory.

Why did I go? For me, the thought of "Christmas" brings little joy. Yes, it is an important holiday which should bring me all the joy in the world, but when you are surrounded by the world's commercial approach to the holiday, it loses alot. I miss being a child - the anticipation of Christmas morning - stirring in my bed because I am so overwhelmed by excitement that I can't lay still. There are no small children in my family to live vicariously through, so the magic is all but gone. I am like the little boy in The Polar Express - I shake the bell just as hard as I can and yet I hear nothing.

When I came home from my first trip to SA, immediately I thought of Christmas. I knew how difficult it was to ship items there and wondered what kind of Christmas these kids had. Many of the House Parents had families of their own that they spent the holidays with. If shipping was so difficult, were they able to get presents there? Did they have a Christmas morning?? What was interesting was that at the same time these thoughts were passing through my mind, 3 of my girlfriends were also thinking about the same thing....guess God wanted us to do something about this.

After a few months of planning and sharing about our Christmas vision - I was on a plane (2 of them) packed to the brim with boxes of presents and goodies. One thing I did learn on this trip was to "go with the flow" and let the will of God be done - HIS WAY! Of course I had a romanticized version of how our plans would unfold, and of course they looked nothing like I had envisioned....and that's ok, because they looked exactly how the Lord planned. I've learned that this wasn't MY plan at all, but God was using me to execute HIS plan. Though it wasn't perfect in my eyes, it was in his.........and that's all that matters.

This trip allowed me to really see the hard work and dedication of all involved with Acres of Love - from the office staff to those who take on the role of house parent to 8 children. It is hard work, sometimes thankless - but then you look into the eyes of one of the children and you see Jesus' love for us, you are reminded of how blessed we are to be called to such work. I was woken up at 5am one morning to find out that I was going to play house parent to 7 kids, and to top it off...I didn't feel good at all. I knew out of the 4 girls, I was the only one even close to feeling ok.........so I went. I spent the first 4hrs alone with 7 kids, two of which had some "wonderful" diaper issues. I was miserable - tired and achy.

Then I looked at Anna Alicia

I saw that smile and I thanked God that I could be a part of something bigger than myself - that he would find something in me, through my complaining, that He could use to care for such a precious being.

My entire trip was spent in awe of my Lord and His love for me, for these kids. I came home with a renewed desire to serve him with all I have to offer and to challenge those around me to step outside their boxes and allow God to do big things in their lives. If this trip was any indication of what 2007 will hold for me; I feel like that child on Christmas Eve.......eager to see what's beneath the tree.